Living With TBI

There are some days when having a mother with TBI feels completely normal and manageable. It's been a part of my whole life, after all. Then there are days when it's crushing. When you've had a bad day at work and all you want to do is hear the comfort of your mother's voice, telling you everything is going to be okay. That you are safe. That you are loved. The extent of my mother's TBI is such that she cannot provide me with that maternal comfort. In fact, our roles have been entirely reversed for as long as I can remember. I must be the strong one, the caretaker, the provider, and expect nothing in return. I must be the one who is the adult - understanding, patient, and selfless at all times. And some days it's just not easy to maintain that role.

The Brain Injury Association published a study last year on the impact of TBI on family members. They found that family members experienced feelings of doubt, alienation, and decreased concentration. Family members also suffered from emotional distance from their loved ones, problems sharing tenderness, difficulty trusting others, and difficulty fulfilling roles and responsibilities in their every day lives.

As a child of a mother with TBI, I can't express how true these findings are in my life, and how comforting it is to know that I'm not alone. The Brain Injury Resource Center of Southern California also provides a comprehensive list of support groups for family members of individuals with TBI. I'd say it's time for me to sign up.